意大利人说英语

很久很久以前就听过了，非常搞笑，最近突然想起，找啊找，Google真是个好东西，翻了两页就好到了原文和录音的下载，放到这里，以后就更方便了。
One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast .she brings me only one piece. I tell her “I wanna two pieces”. She say “Go to the toilet”. I say “you don’t understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate”. She say to me: “you better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch”. I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!

Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a Spoon and a knief but no fork. I tell her “I wanna a fock.” and she tella me ,”everyone wanna .” I tella her, ” you don’t understand me…I wanna fork on the table.” She say, “You better not on the table you sonnawabitch.”

So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him “I wanna a sheet.” he tell me to go the toilet. I say “you don’t understand I wanna a sheet on my bed.” He say, “You better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch.”

I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said,”Peace on you.” and I say,” Piss on you too, you sonnawabicth.” I gonna back to Italy!